Me and The Dad often have little chats about what we hope/fear for the future; we are the classic worried parents of girls perhaps? I don’t remember having chats about the future very often before we had children, but we have them fairly regularly now. We discuss our fears for our girls’ futures and what we imagine they will do. We talk about what our home life will be like, what we think they will become, whether we will have grandchildren, and if they will be friends into adulthood.
These are our main fears:
- That they will be bullied for being ginger/too thin/too fat/too clever/having wonky teeth/being pretty/or any other random or erroneous thing cruel children choose to single them out for.
- That they will spend so much time fighting each other they will not see how having so many sisters can be a great blessing.
- That they each bring home some spotty oik and call him a ‘boyfriend’. We will have to – in the words of Jane Austen – give consequence to them even though they are obviously illiterate/unemployable. One of them will probably get one of our princesses pregnant, or break a heart, or just generally waste their time.
- That we will never, ever be able to get into any of our bathrooms ever again.
- That there will be so many beauty products all over the house that we will drown in a sea of mousse, or we’ll suffer terrible doom in an incident involving some sort of hot hair thingy-me-bobs.
That they will never work out what they want to do, never settle in a job and we will have them here with us forever.
- That they will grow up resenting us and want to leave home as soon as is feasibly possible.
- That their weddings will be lavish affairs we will be paying for until the day we die.
- That they choose to attend the most expensive universities possible (see the wedding thing above).
- That we end up with so many grandchildren that we don’t get more than a day to ourselves due to constant baby-sitting duties. We were hoping to do a bit of travelling or just do bugger-all instead. This is seeming increasingly unlikely.
These are our hopes:
- That they go to a good university and meet a boy that isn’t an oik and that at least has half a brain and some family money. Or at least get a degree so they can get a good job and support themselves. Or just get a good job. Anything, as long they enjoy it and it pays the bills. Preferably in their own houses. not ours.
- That they choose to have a low-key wedding, or the boy’s parents are decent enough to go dutch.
- That they don’t fight and they all stick together forever.
- That they don’t move out before we are ready, but will be able to sense when we want some space back.
- That they will look after their old mum and dad in their old age and not abandon us to some crap old persons’ home.
- For now, I just hope that they get better at helping me with the housework occasionally and try not to leave dirty clothes all over the place. I live in hope.
I know we are probably being irrational and premature but I would like to know if parents of boys have the same hopes and fears?
This is a guest blog from Trouble Doubled, who writes a lovely post about her hope and fears for the future with her family and her lovely wee girls. Please check her blog out if you can. Pop along to her about me on there to find out a bit more about her. Her blog is the story of a life full of girls, she has a 7 and a four year old, as well as baby twin girls.
Troubles Mum
Monday 23rd of July 2012
Thanks for hosting me! It looks fab.
Catherine Kelly
Monday 23rd of July 2012
I have three girls and agree with all of the above! I want them to be confident in themselves (although No. 2 could reduce hers slightly! ;-) ), I want them to love themselves, I want to protect them from rubbish stuff - but I want some time to myself, I want them to learn all the things I haven't, to be able to do all the things I can't, I want them to have all the opportunities I've had and a whole load more I haven't. I'm looking forward to seeing them grow up into beautiful (inside and out) young women, but I want to have them as my babies forever! I want to be able to be friends with them, but I know they'll want me to leave them alone. We get flashes of what they'll be like as teenagers and that's going to be, er, fun! But it will be fun, just fun/'fun' at both ends of the scale! But mostly, this sums it up perfectly: "What I wanted most for my daughter was that she be able to soar confidently in her own sky, wherever that might be..." (Helen Claes)